I know I am undeserving of your bounty; but if I were to tell you what hardships I have undergone—to what frightful extremities I have been reduced—and to what infamy I have submitted, to earn a scanty subsistence for this child's sake, —if you could feel what it is to stand alone in the world as I do, bereft of all who have ever loved me, and shunned by all who have ever known me, except the worthless and the wretched,—if you knew (and Heaven grant you may be spared the knowledge!) how much affliction sharpens love, and how much more dear to me my child has become for every sacrifice I have made for him,—if you were told all this, you would, I am sure, pity rather than reproach me, because I cannot at once consent to a separation, which I feel would break my heart. Even Lucy’s bra and panties, the ubiquitous polyester underwire and matching cotton bikini briefs from Kmart, were gone. When my father died, and we were left alone in Jersey, I was quite a long time deciding whether I would go in for singing professionally or try painting. ” “But why didn’t you prohibit once for all the whole thing? How dared she tell you that?” “Out of defiance. Like stealing. ’ ‘No, you are a gentleman,’ she agreed. The man’s passion became almost unbearable at the thought of losing her. And that happens through our maternity; it’s our very importance that degrades us. To the point however. I have a special interest in Mary Remenham because I believe I have discovered her daughter. I don’t idealize you.
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